miss

I miss depression. I miss being sad. I miss always wanting to be alone. I know I probably shouldn’t but I do. Because with depression their was always something on my mind and now I have other things to worry about. I never would think I would say I miss depression but I do. It was so hard to make it disappear and now I want it back. After all, depression is like another body so it’s hard to detach yourself from it. But now that I see, it’s hard to reattach yourself to it as well. You feel so empty and lost. But it’s already occupying someone else. Oh gosh, what’s wrong with me? I don’t even know. This is insane. I shouldn’t want depression back but  I do. Maybe I like it as a distraction, something to keep me focused. Maybe I don’t want anyone to make me happy except him. So with depression I would just be sad and not happy. I sound so corrupt. I’m sorry….I’m just not ready….