falseWhat am I scared of? What do I fear?

Well I have many fears and plenty things may scare me. But that’s normal.

Now what really frightens me is that you will fall in love with the girl who you think I am. The girl that everyone else sees. That’s not who I really am. And then it gets worse because if you find out who I really am then you will turn right back around. You will leave me. Just like everyone else. You will fall in love with someone I’m not and then hate the person I am. It honestly sucks. Then again I guess it’s my fault for faking it so well. Well in that case I guess your dream girl might not exist because she was just a dream. Now that your paying her attention and letting her trust you, she’s waking up and so are you. Your dream girl has a dark past and present. She’s got pain, scars, and sadness. She’s an emotional wreck. She doesn’t know who she is. She will push you away despite how much she wishes for you to stay. She believes her heart is a stone. This way, she can’t get her heart broken if it doesn’t exist. The struggle from being emotional to emotionless. It’s scary to see. Breaking down crying to just a blank expression. She will make you wonder what life is like. What the truth is? What this reality really is? What this world is really like? How it’s all ruined her. How it all corrupted her. How she doesn’t feel dead nor alive. How it destroyed her. How it took her childhood away. How it took her away. She will let you see the world in her perspective. And then you will leave because it’s something you don’t want to experience. No one wants to watch someone destroy them self. So don’t stay with me. Because that’s what you will watch. Leave while you can. I don’t need pity nor sympathy. I don’t want you to become what I have. I don’t want you to see what I’ve seen. You deserve better. You deserve the best. And I’m sorry to say I’m not her. Maybe your dream girl does exist, but I’m pretty sure I’m not her. I was just an illusion of her. I’m sorry……