insanity

Where’s the fun in cheating on someone? How could one find joy in making someone feel like nothing? I just don’t understand.
I’m already nothing and you made me feel like something. But to you I wasn’t good enough when you had always been more than enough.
What should I have done better? Why am I not capable of being loved?
Is it the fact that I have a dark past? That I’m not scared to be a dork? That I love embarrassing myself? That I’m addicted to your lips? That every morning I beg you to stay even though I know you have work? That you wake up to me crying at 3 AM? Or is that I just loved you too much?

What did I do wrong? I know I’m a disaster, let’s be honest I’m a mess. But you were the glue that kept me together.

You were the reason I got out of bed. Ever since you left, I lay in bed in your white t-shirt with tangles in my hair and dried tears on my face.

As I bite my tongue thinking of you kissing her. I’m sorry I couldn’t be her. I would change if I could. But growing up I always taught myself to find who I was. And I found myself with you. And I’m not gonna lose myself just because I lost you.

But I will lose sanity.

I hope your happy. I hope she makes you happier then I ever could. Don’t worry about me. There’s always someone better then me. If I were you I would have left to. Why stick to nothing when you can have something. I am nothing. She is your something.

I will see you in my dreams, there I find comfort being held in your arms.

Night.